LIFE UPDATE: I'M MOVING!
Back in January, I had this feeling I couldn’t seem to shake. I woke up and couldn’t seem to stop the tears. Face down on the floor, the only words I could get out were "yes yes yes.”
But what am I saying yes to God? What are you doing?
At that moment, I knew what God was calling me to do. In His still small voice and before I could even get the words out, I knew He was calling me away from Charlotte. You see, I always knew God sent me here for a specific purpose but that it was not my final destination. But isn’t it funny how God will often ask you to walk away from something when you least expect it?
I ran into my best friends room, and as I explained what just happened, she asked a simple question “How does this make you feel?” And I said “Peaceful. Terrified but peaceful."
One moment I was aching with pain and couldn’t control the tears and the next I was filled with an overwhelming blanket of peace. The tears stopped and were immediately replaced with a joy I can’t even explain. I felt so at rest.
I looked at my friend and said: “But I don’t know what’s next.” And her response was “Get your hopes up.”
So I hopped in my car and started to dream with God. My natural tendency is to want to know all of the details before I say yes to God. I want it all to make sense and to have God give me a step by step plan. But sometimes Jesus is simply asking “what do you want?”
Sometimes God will call us away from something without showing us the next step. And it’s what we do in the middle that honors him the most. In the waiting and in the unknown.
When our hearts are aligned with God's heart, He says He will give us the desires of our hearts. So at that moment, I decided I was going to dream with Him. I shared with Him what was in my heart, and that day He gave me clarity and vision for what my next steps were this year. They may not be perfectly certain, but I’m running full speed in that direction, and I'm so excited for what is to come.
June 22 will be my last day at Proverbs 31 and my last week in Charlotte. This is so bittersweet, but I can’t help but be filled with only gratitude for this opportunity to spend two years working for this incredible ministry. I moved to this city at 19 years old with no job, and God came through more than I ever could have expected. The people I get to work alongside have empowered me to step into my calling with confidence and have been the greatest example of leaders to me. What a gift this season has been and I’m so thankful for my time here.
So what’s next for me?
In July I will be spending a month in Huntington Beach, California for the 21 Day Project program. This annual school is hosted by the Circuit Riders to influence, empower, and teach a generation to utilize their passions for the kingdom of God. I will be taking the Messenger University track to be trained in preaching and using the gifts God has given me to communicate His vision throughout the world.
I couldn’t be any more excited about this opportunity, and I can’t wait to see what God does through this.
And after that?
Well, the plan is still a little uncertain. I will be sharing more details at a later time, but what I have found is the more I risk, and the more I let go of, the more freedom I find. Life will not always be wrapped up in a pretty bow. Some things are messy. Some things require sacrifice. Some things happen slowly, and some things happen quickly.
Learning to dance through uncertainty, laugh through every unknown, and find joy in every hard step of obedience has been the greatest adventure of my life. I’ve never felt more uncertain yet more alive in my life.
I wish I could look you in the eyes and tell you that it’s worth it. That you can hear the Holy Spirits voice. That you can trust Him. That you can take that leap of faith. And sometimes, that you just have to do it afraid. If the Holy Spirit has been pressing on your heart to do something that seems absolutely crazy, don’t ignore it. God wants to do more in your life than you could ever dream, but it’s going to require a whole lot of risk. You will never feel ready, and it will never be easy, but I promise you it will be worth it.